Bullying is defined by the ABA as the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological. It can happen face-to-face or through cyberspace.
What is bullying?
Bullying affects lots of young people and happens in many schools but it's the way it's dealt with which makes the difference between life being tolerable or a misery for many.
There is no legal definition of bullying. But it is usually defined as repeated behaviour which is intended to hurt someone either emotionally or physically, and is often aimed at certain people because of their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation or any other aspect such as appearance or disability.
Bullying can take many forms including:
Cyber bullying is bullying through a mobile phone or online (eg by email, instant messanger or on social network sites). Cyber bullying is just as serious. Read more about cyber bullying.
If you are being bullied at school, tell a friend, tell a teacher and tell your parents. It won't stop unless you do. It can be hard to do this so if you don't feel you can do it in person it might be easier to write a note to your parents explaining how you feel, or perhaps confide in someone outside the immediate family, like a grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin and ask them to help you tell your parents what's going on.
Your form tutor needs to know what is going on so try to find a time to tell him or her when it won't be noticeable. You could stay behind on the pretext of needing help with some work. If you don't feel you can do that, then speak to the school nurse. Don't be tempted to respond to any bullying or hit back because you could get hurt or get into trouble.
Bullying and body language
Body language tells us a lot about other people. Think about the last time you walked into school. How did you feel? Confident and powerful? Or timid and worried? If you're trying not to be noticed and looking at the ground a lot while darting into school it can make you more noticeable. You look defensive and vulnerable. If you step out boldly you send out a quite different message of confidence. You may not be very confident but you'll certainly look it.
Try to stay in safe areas of the school at break and lunchtime where there are plenty of other people. If you are hurt at school, tell a teacher immediately and ask for it to be written down. Make sure you tell your parents.
Bullying is very upsetting and if you feel you can't cope, tell your parents and go to see your doctor. Many doctors are very sympathetic about the effects of bullying and yours may be able to write a note for the school explaining the effect that bullying is having on your health.
People bully others about perceived differences, including appearance, religion, behaviour, disabilities or illness, family, even how well you are doing at school or how popular you are. It is always best to try and dismiss bullying remarks. If a bully sees that they can upset you then they will keep trying. Many people are the victim of bullying and it is important to remember that noone should be bullied.